open letters to famous people

i don't mean to be hard on you. i know you've been doing this a long time, and most of us grew up listening to your music. i know you're constantly reinventing yourself, and trying to push the limits, and shocking people used to be your thing. i get all that, and i appreciate it. i don't want to knock you cause you're old school--i appreciate that. really.

but i have bad news--you're old. the very thing that gets you all the respect i just offered you is the very reason you can't make videos set in futuristic cityscapes, dressing up in crazy matrix-y outfits, and punch/kick the air. it just...doesn't work. it doesn't look threatening. it looks...funny.

someone needs to tell you.

now this whole parkour free running is awesome, no question,; but it's sort of been done already in that last james bond movie. you're not pushing any envelopes there.

so basically, you look old and silly. just thought you should know.